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Wednesday, May 25, 2011

We Want to Know Wednesday Q&A

I can't resist. This meme is too fun to pass up. So here I go.


This week's questions are from Seriously Shawn

{1} What must you do before you go to bed at night?
{2} What is one thing you must snack on at the theater?
{3} Before going on vacation what must you do?
{4} What is one thing you must do every day?
{5} Is there something you do that must be done in a particular order?

1. I must brush my teeth, wash my face, straightened up my bed sheets, and read a book before I go to bed at night. I'm currently reading

2. At the theater, the price of the snacks keeps me from wanting anything while watching a movie. So, I don't buy anything unless I am with my children, then I am forced to pay up for popcorn and soda. I don't like those.

3. Before vacation, I like to pack first, then clean my house and make sure things are straight and neat. I like to go home to a nice orderly house. Sometimes, this is very hard because my children and husband can be such slobs.

4. Read a book. It's an addiction. Even on my most busy day, I grab a book and read a page simply because it's like being and OCD. I must.

5. Well, quite a few. For example, when I go to shower, I like to make sure that no clothes are strewn about in the bathroom, the rugs and nice and floppy, the sink is orderly, then I make sure that the floors are as dust free as possible. Then I grab a towel, turn on shower, line up my shampoo and stuff. Get naked, and jump in the shower. I imagine other people do the same.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Is It Like Listening To You Talk?

As you probably know, to become an internationally best-selling author, you need to sell three books. This is not an easy task, but once you’ve managed to rack up these three sales, the rest is more or less a done deal.

Now, these sales themselves will not put you on the best-seller lists. They won’t even put you within a million spots of the bottom of the lists, but what they will do, and what they do every time, is spark a slowly growing buying frenzy that will get you there.

These three people will love your book, they will tell another five people, who in turn tell another seven. Within roughly four-and-a-half weeks, you finally make your first million.
That’s how it happens. Every single time.

But, how does an author tackle this monumental task? Where does he find these three readers?

I myself was quite lucky. When my novel appeared on Amazon I already knew over five people! What’s more, some of these people even liked me... somewhat. So I set out to become an internationally best-selling author by convincing at least three of these five people to buy my novel.

I started with my mother. Of all the five people I knew, I probably knew her the longest. I showed her my Amazon page and she nodded approvingly. She did not, however, make any attempts to buy a copy. So I logged on for her, navigated back to my novel’s page, and left the mouse pointer conveniently positioned over the BUY button.

She read the novel description again, searched-inside-this-book, and nodded some more. When I asked her if she’d like to buy a copy, she scrunched up her nose and said;

‘But what if I don’t like it?’
I told her not to worry. ‘It’s a really good book,’ I said. ‘I should know. I’ve re-written it like 50 times. It’s really funny and interesting.’
My mother wasn’t convinced. ‘I’m not really into comedy writing, though,’ she said.
‘It’s not just a comedy,’ I pointed out. ‘It has a real story; it’s a mystery. And it has twists and turns and believable characters.’
My mother hesitated. ‘Maybe I should just play it safe and buy another Stephen King novel…’

I ended up having to offer a personal money-back guarantee, and purchase a copy using my own credit card for the time being, but she finally cracked. I’d made my first sale!

Next, I prodded my wife. Although she did like words in general, she wasn’t sure she was up for reading and entire book full of them. ‘Is this like your usual stuff?’ she wanted to know.
‘What usual stuff?’
She shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Is it like listening to you talk?’
‘What’s wrong with they way I talk?’
‘Nothing. It’s just, well, sometimes you talk a lot of nonsense.’
I waved it away. ‘Don’t worry,’ I said. ‘I am much more interesting and ‘telligible’ on paper.’

Long story short; my second sale is almost in the bag. Now I just need to find one more person to buy my novel, and I’ll be set for life!

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