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Monday, November 5, 2012


The bond that links your true family
is not one of blood, but
of respect and joy in each other's life.

Richard Bach

I just had a conversation with my husband, how our daughter said, "actually, it's irritating" in response to a joke he had made about daylight savings time.  My husband seemed very disturbed by it.  I asked how the reply should have been so it would not be rude.  He said somewhere along the line of "not really."

I guess the difference between the two replies is judgment value.  I'm with Richard Bach on this respect is what keeps family together.  I still believe, from my childhood, that it's a taboo to actually say what I really think otherwise it would be rude!  I give my children leeway in replying to a question I ask, but I think I still expect them to think before replying.

It's a fine line, and a faint one at that between rude and honesty.  I still believe that as a parent, I ought to let my children know what the boundaries are.  I personally think that 'conversation' is a mine-field.  I still don't like to do it.  In my opinion, most people thinks you're a good conversationalist only if you never say anything in direct opposition to what they are asking.

In other words, to have a good relationship, I have to very careful what words come out of my mouth.  This is what my children need to learn, I think.  There will be frustrations, but at least, it will be the kind that can be dealt with inside.  Stress is so much more when other people are reacting to you.

Is that being dishonest? Maybe.  But it certainly keep a lot of peace, and the bottom line is, peace is priceless.  Take a deep breath and decide, is it really worth it to get it off my chest?

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